Today I was back in University. I forgot just how much I hate getting up early & having to get out of the nice warm bed... just to be stuck in the stupid traffic jam that is ALWAYS there. Luckily because I woke up at 7.30am - I actually got to my class quarter of an hour early. Thank god this only happens twice a week.
The class itself was pretty interesting, but most of the things he discussed was very familiar. Another lecturer has already taught us the exact same stuff last semester. In one way it's great, because we know all about it - but in another way, it's not fun listening to the same old boring stuff again at 9am inside a cold, weird smelling hall.
You may have noticed the title of this post & the reason I have given it this title is because this is how I have been feeling these last few weeks. I have never wanted to mention this in my blog but, my dad has Terminal Lung Cancer. He never smoked in his life & hasn't touched a drop of alcohol since I can remember. He was diagnosed around 5 years ago, when we first heard about it - he was given 6 months to live [he had been walking around with the fluid in his lung for nearly a year, keeping quiet about it]. Luckily, he is still fighting strong & doing well. However, over this Christmas, he wasn't well at all. I think this weather effected him too, because it was 'The Big Freeze' & it was truly freeezing.
The other day when he came over to the house to fix my washing machine was the first time he had been out the house properly in weeks. Recently I have been feeling really, really down about the whole thing. I have been crying nearly every day [poor Dave has to put up with me]! I even nearly cried in front of Dave's parents yesterday in the car on the way to St Aspah. I do put on a brave face in front of everyone, even online etc [I'm one of these people who loves to help others, but I keep myself to myself]. Dave again, is always there though to make me laugh half way through my crying fits... Eventually I'll break down again & he's there again pulling funny faces to make me smile.
Lastnight, I decided to give Dave a break & I joined the Macmillan website & just let all of what I wanted to say out, I found that, as well as writing this now, makes me feel a whole lot better. I really HATE writing this kind of stuff, but I just wanted to let it all out. I just need someone to talk to I guess, apart from Dave. I was also thinking the other day about how my being sick might have been down to over-worrying about my dad. Anyways, to finish off, sorry Dave for being such a cry-baby this last week & thank you for making me smile & always thinking positive.
The class itself was pretty interesting, but most of the things he discussed was very familiar. Another lecturer has already taught us the exact same stuff last semester. In one way it's great, because we know all about it - but in another way, it's not fun listening to the same old boring stuff again at 9am inside a cold, weird smelling hall.
You may have noticed the title of this post & the reason I have given it this title is because this is how I have been feeling these last few weeks. I have never wanted to mention this in my blog but, my dad has Terminal Lung Cancer. He never smoked in his life & hasn't touched a drop of alcohol since I can remember. He was diagnosed around 5 years ago, when we first heard about it - he was given 6 months to live [he had been walking around with the fluid in his lung for nearly a year, keeping quiet about it]. Luckily, he is still fighting strong & doing well. However, over this Christmas, he wasn't well at all. I think this weather effected him too, because it was 'The Big Freeze' & it was truly freeezing.
The other day when he came over to the house to fix my washing machine was the first time he had been out the house properly in weeks. Recently I have been feeling really, really down about the whole thing. I have been crying nearly every day [poor Dave has to put up with me]! I even nearly cried in front of Dave's parents yesterday in the car on the way to St Aspah. I do put on a brave face in front of everyone, even online etc [I'm one of these people who loves to help others, but I keep myself to myself]. Dave again, is always there though to make me laugh half way through my crying fits... Eventually I'll break down again & he's there again pulling funny faces to make me smile.
Lastnight, I decided to give Dave a break & I joined the Macmillan website & just let all of what I wanted to say out, I found that, as well as writing this now, makes me feel a whole lot better. I really HATE writing this kind of stuff, but I just wanted to let it all out. I just need someone to talk to I guess, apart from Dave. I was also thinking the other day about how my being sick might have been down to over-worrying about my dad. Anyways, to finish off, sorry Dave for being such a cry-baby this last week & thank you for making me smile & always thinking positive.
2 comments:
I couldn't read and not comment. You're not a cry-baby, it's good to let it all out, keeping it locked up inside isn't healthy. I'm glad that the Macmillan website is helping and it's also a good sign that your dad is out and about again, he sounds like a fighter!
Hey Anella.. I'm really sorry about your dad. I remember you telling me about it a few years back, but I didn't realize it was still going on.
Remember that your blog is there for you to record your day-to-day happenings, thoughts and feelings. Your dad's sickness is a major part of your life, and you don't write here to entertain people.. you write for yourself, to say what you need to say.. good or bad.
Good luck to you and your family ♥
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